for the future of these characters in role-play but can be skipped over by other readers as these events were private.

It sets up that Nathaniel knows Piotr's 'secret and Sarah is pretty sure he's a vampire as well. It establishes also that aside from Nathaniel, Raphael both being attracted to Sarah and vice versa that there is a likely former life connection for them that has been activated by their meeting. )

A number of students gathered in the library after supper on Sunday. Niki looked for books on Runes peppered with insulting comments from Arcadia and Carina, Branwen and Piotr flirted. Nathaniel appeared to be in somewhat of a stroppy mood and Sarah tried to draw him out. However, he got up and left the library. Stalks by Night, his pet kitten, indicated that Sarah should not leave things like that

"So where are we going Stalks?" asked Sarah following the mostly black kitten.

Stalks by Night glances over shoulder and leads her towards the lake, unerringly leads the way to where Nathaniel is sitting with his back to a tree, skimming stones into the lake.

"Hey you..." said Sarah quietly not quite sure how to begin.

Nathaniel looks up, startled, "Hey."

After some small talk, Nathaniel gets to the heart of the problem. "This place is weird." H skims a final stone into the water.

Sarah said quite seriously "You've noticed..."

"I'm not sure if I can handle this place." he gave an odd laugh.

"Why? I mean.... don't you like the people or is it the magic?"

"Both. Everything. I don't feel like I belong here."

"Oh.... I feel like you belong here."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to achieve here." Nathaniel was obviously frustrated.

Sarah looked at him, "Becoming yourself - what ever that is..."

Someone leaves the building in the half-light and wanders outside.

Nathaniel shrugs, "I just don't' know what that is, Sarah. Myself. What am I? Good question. I thought I was just a kid. Now I don't know. Just too many weird things going on."

"Well you are just a kid - we all are...and as for stuff like floating people - it's something you get used to..."

"No. We're all witches and wizards in training, Sarah, that's very different."

They are approached by the figure, who moves out of sight. That DOESN'T mean out of hearing, of course...

Nathaniel skims another stone into the lake; "I'm just ... in the way."

"How can you say that? In the way..."

Nathaniel looks sideways at Sarah, "Easily."

The figure ..is hungry. Or was that....thirsty?

Stalks by Night drops out of the branches of the tree into Sarah's lap. She starts to pet him. "Hey sweetie."

"Interfering moggy." Said Nathaniel half-heartedly.

"How so? Because you almost smiled for a second?" she continued to fuss the kitten.

Something catches the figure's eyes and the shadow slinks off after it towards the Forbidden Forest. A few moments later there is a *SQUEAK!* but loud - and then...silence.

Nathaniel manages a small smile; "Damn thing sleeps on my chest. When it gets bigger it'll probably suffocate me in my sleep. It left a dead rat in my boot this morning. Does that sound like your idea of fun?"

"A rat huh...pretty cool Stalks....". The kitten tries to look innocent. "Cats do that it's a sign that they like you."

"Humans are much more complicated." Commented Nathaniel.

"Tell me about it!" Sarah sighed. "Human males are the most complicated though."

In distance there are a few more pitiful 'squeak' noises from the forest.

Nathaniel laughs, "And human females aren't? Pull the other one, Sarah, it's got bells on."

Sarah smiled, "I guess it depends on your point of view."

"Raphael is complicated I'll agree with that but you'd probably know more about that than I would."

The squeaks stop, and something.... someone moves in the shadows.

"I agree that Raphael is complicated but I wouldn't know more about that - you share a dorm with him..."

Someone now watches the two conversing. Someone is very *very* tempted* by them sitting so vulnerably.

Nathaniel looks at Sarah in bewilderment, "I thought.."

"You thought ...???"

"That.. uh... "

"That??" Sarah echoed genuinely perplexed.

"You know..."

The darkness carries the sound of a mumbled 'nooooooo' with it. Whimpering might be heard but Sarah and Nathaniel are too confused and caught up in their conversation to notice.

"Do I? No... " she shook her head and then it clicked, "You didn't think that he and I...."

Nathaniel stares at Sarah a bit more, "Uh... yeah, actually."

"Because of our holding hands.?"

The figure moves from shadows and disappears inside.

"Because of ... never mind. I have no brain. Forgive me."

"Nathaniel.... there's nothing to forgive."

Nathaniel continued to stare out over the lake, "Heh, I just made a prime idiot of myself."

Sarah looks confused, "I'm the one that feels the idiot."

"Why? I'm the brainless dope here." He gives her a sideways glance.

"No you're not I am." This is turning into a contest as to who is the most brainless of the pair.

Stalks by Night shakes head dolefully and goes to catch mice.

Sarah smiles at the retreating kitten, "Are we daft or what?"

"Sarah, don't be ridiculous. I'm the one misinterpreting things I shouldn't even be thinking of."

"Oh you mean that I & Raphael might be an item...."

He nodded, "It was rude of me."

Shadowy Figure exits the building again. He looks as though will approach the two, but hesitates and mooches off and stands in shadows watching.

"No, we're not - not that I know of.... " Sarah starts thinking about skimming rocks to keep mind off idea of kissing Nathaniel which is something she had wanted to do since meeting him. "I like him of course..."

Nathaniel shakes head and produces a contact juggling ball. "I ... uh.... don't know why Raph was so pissed with me today. I thought he thought I was in his way... how dumb does that sound."

"I know he was really weird with me as well....in his way...how so? Oh because of my feelings for you." She then realised hat she said - maybe he wouldn't notice.

Nathaniel drops the contact juggling ball for the first time in a year and half turns round to look at Sarah. She returns his look.

"I ... um..." he began.

"I know...hey, it's OK I'll sort it out with him. He'll be fine I am sure."

Nathaniel then asked quietly, "What feelings, Sarah?"

"What feelings? I thought you realised..."

A short way off Stalks by Night meanders through the shadows at the edge of the forest. There are a few more distant squeals from the Forest.

"Realised what....?" echoed the boy.

Sarah was feeling very embarrassed, "That you knew that I felt more than friendship..." She got to her feet ready to flee back to the school.

Nathaniel stands up, catching hold of her hand, "No, Sarah.... I wasn't sure..."

Shadowy figure makes sudden grab for kitten, which hurtles away leaving only muffled curses.

Stalks by Night ascends a tree and hisses defiantly. The shadowy figure hisses right back.. The kitten leaps from one tree into the next.

"Well, now you are sure." Sarah kept hold of his hand and not sure what to do next.

The shadowy figure continues his pursuit of Stalks, "Here, kitty....NICE kitty..."

Nathaniel looks round, as did Sarah, "Nathaniel, did you hear something?"

Nathaniel obviously had, "Stalks? Where you got to?"

"Come here, you stinking creature!" the figure throws a stick up the tree. Outraged meowing is heard from not too far away.

"We'd better go see..." said Sarah.

"Bloody cat." Said Nathaniel the moment between them somewhat shattered. However, he leaned forward and kisses Sarah gently before turning and hurrying off towards the noises.

Stalks by Night knocks a bird's nest down onto the shadowy figure. "You little... " The figure picks up another stick and angles it carefully.

Stalks by Night gives a satisfied half-purr, half growl. "Come Here!"

"Stalks! Damn you, put whatever it is you've got DOWN!" Nathaniel rounds the tree and bumps into the shadowy figure. "What the hell!"

Sarah had followed Nathaniel and comes up a second later, "What? Piotr!"

Piotr seems decidedly wobbly, "Oh, hello." His shades are skew-whiff and he looks almost giggly.

"Have you been drinking?" she asked.

Piotr giggled, "Drinking? Yes. You could say that...."

"It's getting bloody dark here...." Nathaniel stretched out hand. A moment later the contact juggling ball rolls around the tree and leaps into his hand.

"HERE Kitten..." said Piotr.

"Lumos." Said Nathaniel without thinking. Light bursts from the contact juggling ball hitting Piotr.

"Ack!!!!"" Piotr ducks and buries head under arms, "The light!"

Sarah looked at Nathaniel impressed.

Piotr is curled up and whimpering, "Turn it out. Turn it OUT!"

"He's allergic to light." Said Sarah in explanation. Nathaniel bends over Piotr, concerned. He still holds the ball though.

"I won't eat your stupid kitten! Turn the light out!!!"

"Oh damn... Sarah what's the opposite to Lumos??" then as an afterthought he said, "EAT my CAT!!!?"

Sarah looked at Piotr, "Why in the world would you try to eat his cat?" Then looked at Nathaniel, "It's Nox."

"Pet! I said pet! I won't pet your kitten!!!" said Piotr in a scared voice.

Nathaniel waves the contact juggling ball frantically. "You said EAT!" Then he turned his attention to the ball, "Nox!" The light goes out.

Piotr slowly uncurls. His shades have come off and his violet eyes are wide with a combination of fear and confusion. Stalks by Night leaps onto Nathaniel's shoulder, hissing at Piotr.

"Why..." Nathaniel's voice is low and dangerous voice, "Do you want to eat my cat? Get your own kitten."

Sarah stands close to Nathaniel and strokes Stalks indicating very much a united front, "Piotr?"

"I don't...I didn't.... " He looks at the proximity of the two and his eyes widen a little more, "I.." Piotr *is suddenly aware of trickle of blood from corner of his mouth.

"You're bleeding," said Sarah.

Nathaniel stares at Piotr, "He's a vampire."

"No..no...it's alright...." Piotr wipes the cutefluffyanimal blood away from his mouth.

Sarah turned to Nathaniel, "I know I just got there as well." The penny had just dropped for her as well.

"No!" cried Piotr.

"Then why the shades and why the blood?" Nathaniel stared, "Even Muggles know about Nosferatu, you know."

Piotr tries to work the Glowing Eyes of Doom, but the Glut of blood he's consumed in the forest won't let him operate them properly, "No, I'm not.."

"Then what are you, Piotr?" Nathaniel's voice was gentle.

Sarah gave a little laugh, "OK, then you're a really creepy Goth kid who drinks blood because you want to be a vampire.

Piotr latches onto it, "Yes...yes, that's it.... " he smiles crookedly. "That's... *hic* just it."

Nathaniel glances at her, "Sarah, why don't you go on inside..."

Piotr in the softest, most frightened voice imaginable suddenly spoke, "I don't want to be a vampire..."

Sarah looked at Nathaniel, "But then you'll be out here alone with.."

"Sarah, please." Responded Nathaniel in a very gentle voice.

Piotr continued to mumble, "I'm not a vampire don't want to be a vampire, not..not..."

"OK". Sarah looks at Piotr her face unreadable, Piotr looks back at her.

"Here, take the kitten. He's probably.. uh.. .frightened..." Nathaniel gives the most unfrightened cat in the world to Sarah.

She takes him, "You'll be OK?"

Piotr looks as though he's going to bolt back to the Forest. He looks like a hunted animal himself.

"Yes, Sarah, I'll be fine. Honestly. Please."

Sarah starts walking back to castle slowly but looking over shoulder at the two boys.

Nathaniel watches Sarah until she's out of sight, and then looks at Piotr, "You don't look too good, you know."

"Fine. I'm ..yes. Fine. Need...to...sleep now. Sleep. " Piotr grins maniacally.

"I'm uh... sorry about the light thing."

"Light? What light?" Piotr giggles slightly.

Nathaniel looks harder at Piotr and pulls him out of the shadows of the trees into a patch of fading sunlight.

Piotr screws his unshaded eyes tightly shut, "Don't! Don't!!!" All the bravado, all the chivalry and all the front has gone.

"Alright then, you tell me what's going on..." he lets Piotr move back into the shade.

"You were trying to eat my cat, I think that gives me a right to know." there is a little humour in Nathaniel's voice.

"Sarah....was right... " Piotr laughed nervously, "I've been drinking."

"Drinking what?"

Piotr thinking on his feet replied with a nervous grin, "Some...vodka. I AM Russian, after all."

"Vodka? Red sticky vodka that's left a stain on your robes?"

"I have...ehm...Gingivitis. My gums bleed. Yes. "

"And the light allergy?"

Piotr laughs a little hysterically, "My eyes are sensitive."

Nathaniel pats pockets, "You like garlic?"

"I have no problem with garlic."

Nathaniel, "I don't seem to have any, anyhow. How about ... uh...coffins?"

"What about them? You put dead people in them." Snapped Piotr.

Nathaniel sighs, "Piotr, I don't care what you are."

"I'm nothing! Nothing!!" Piotr grabs Nathaniel suddenly by the lapels, "Nothing. I'll never be any more than nothing."

Nathaniel relaxes in Piotr's grip, "You going to bite my neck now or later, kid? Just get on with it if you are, it's starting to get cold out here."

" I..."

"hmmmmm?" said Nathaniel expectantly.

Piotr stares at Nathaniel's pulsing jugular.

"Well?"

Piotr licks lips, then suddenly pushes Nat away, turns around and bolts into the Forbidden Forest.

Nathaniel sighs, pockets the juggling ball, and trails after Piotr.

Nathaniel walked along under the trees, reasonable quietly, listening.

Piotr remained hidden.

"Piotr?" Nathaniel called.

"Go 'way." came the voice from the shadows.

Nathaniel promptly stopped walking. " Nope. Not until you've come out and talked to me properly or I get eaten by something unpleasant, in which case I hope you'll be happy."

"Go AWAY!!!" was his reply. "Leave me alone..."

"In here? You're kidding."

"I can survive in here. You can't. Go away." Piotr replied from the darkest shadows. "I'm a Slytherin, after all." He followed this with a hollow laugh.

Nathaniel continued, brightly cheerful. "Heh, you forget I'm a newbie Mudblood. I don't know enough to know what that is. "

There was a long pause and then Piotr stepped out of the shadows.

"OK, I'll talk to you, but just...don't come any closer."

Unseen, unknown, Zephyr looks through trees from far away, but can't hear.

Nathaniel stood still and looked at Piotr. "Ok, that I can live with."

"What do you want? Why can't you just let it be?"

"What do I want?" Nathaniel gave Piotr a slightly confused look, as if his motives should never have been in question. " To make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" he giggled slightly.

"You didn't look fine, Piotr, and you weren't acting fine." Such an infuriatingly reasonable tone of voice. "Is there something wrong, or is this your normal nightly routine?"

"No!" Piotr snapped with a slight twitch.

"No to which bit?" Nathaniel's voice was infuriatingly calm.

"Any of it. All of it." Piotr was infuriatingly twitchy by now.

"You coming back to the castle, or you going to feast on whatever you can find out here with blood in it?"

Piotr's eyes were definitely glowing more and more deeply. "Blood? Why would I...." then he couldn't hide the hunger in his expression. Abruptly he sank to the ground, his head buried in his hands.

"It's like a hunger." Piotr whispered.

Zephyr, hearing Nathaniel, did a loop de loop of surprise.

"I have....I have to. I need to..." Piotr began. "I...don't want...."

Without warning, Piotr suddenly began to sob pitifully, whispering, " I should never have let my father send me here...."

Nathaniel stood very still. "Can I come over there, Piotr?"

"NO!" Piotr stopped sobbing. "Stay...there."

"Ok, I'll stay here." Nathaniel's voice was very gentle. "Hey, at least you had a choice in the matter of coming here."

Piotr's voice was hoarse when he replied. "No I didn't. Not really. HE wanted me to come and mingle with...with h...with other people. Now...I think I understand why..."

"Are you like this every night, Piotr?" There was no reply. " Piotr? Are you like this every night?"

"Not...every night...no..."

"Why tonight...?"

" I...I'm not sure." A hesitation. "The way I felt...lonely and...the need to be alone to match it." Another hesitation. "Did that make sense?"

Nathaniel took out the contact juggling ball and started fiddling with it. "Yeah. makes perfect sense, kid."

"Is it something you're growing into?" The sphere was cool in his hands, and a sudden insight came to him.

Piotr realised denial was futile. "Sort of. Yes. There's...something I have to do. On my sixteenth birthday. Then...well..."

He held his hands up before continuing.

"I don't want to."

Nathaniel sat down cross-legged, comfortably, letting the contact juggling ball flow up one arm, across his shoulders, and down the other.

"Is there a way out of it? how much time you got?"

"I'm 16 in March." Piotr's voice was very small and quiet. "And I'm trying to find one."

Nathaniel lifted an eyebrow. "That's not terribly long. You want any help?"

"I...have my potion which stops me....well....anything worse than squirrels...and..." his voice dropped to a whisper. ".... other people's pets."

Nathaniel grinned suddenly in the moonlight. "Stalks by Night is tougher than he looks. No hard feelings. How's the potion work?"

"It suppresses my need for blood. But....I have to take more and more of it every day...and that makes me poorly. I can't work out the balance. I'm....thirsty. All the time."

Nathaniel shook his head a bit. "Look, Piotr, I've yet to take my first potions class. But I'm a hell of a chemist, in Muggle classes. You want me to try and help you?"

"Why would you do that? You're a Ravenclaw. I thought there was this whole 'house loyalty' thing going on here?"

Nathaniel spun the ball up onto a fingertip and watched it revolve slowly. Piotr seemed vaguely mesmerised.

"Why not? What the hell's 'house loyalty' got to do with anything? As far as I can see, it's just a fast track to making tension. I don't give a shit about that kind of stuff." Nathaniel was suddenly vehement. "But I know what it's like to be different, and to be hated. I don't care for it, so why should anyone else?"

Nathaniel shrugged. "I just like to help."

Piotr said suddenly, "I'm 3/4 vampire now. I don't know if potions can stop the Change any more." It was the first time he'd admitted it aloud.

Nathaniel leant forward a bit, letting the contact juggling ball trickle through his fingers, and then leap back up to the palm of his hand.

"So why fight it? How about instead of stopping the change, we just find you a blood substitute. Would that be okay?"

Piotr shook his head. "I can't explain it. The urge to drink is one thing. With the ... Change...also comes the urge to...to kill...that's what the Initiation is about... I already have trouble resisting...How easy...it would be.... But I know that to do that is to please my father....and I'm not going to start doing that now."

"Initiation? Drawing on the knowledge of one too many Hammer Horrors, would that be the killing of a young virgin?" Nathaniel hazarded a wild guess.

"I don't know what it involves. But I do know that once...it happens...I will cease to exist as Piotr Rachinov."

Nathaniel's brow creased in confusion. "You what?"

"The Initiation...does something to you. Makes you forget who you are. The Council give you a new identity, a new life, take all your memories.... And you go forth and live your new existence... Without knowing who you are, or who you've been..."

"Whoah! that's not good."

"I...don't want it." Piotr repeated.

"Then we'll stop it." Nathaniel was quiet but firm.

Piotr laughed, humourlessly. "It's not been done before."

Nathaniel grinned madly. "Then we'll be radical and make it up as we go. We've got a few months. Should be plenty."

The Glut was starting to wear off a little, and Piotr fumbled in his robes to find his potion, which he downed in full.

"More than I should take, really." Piotr sounded regretful.

" You overdosed?"

"Sort of. I'll be mightily unwell for a few hours, but I'll get over it." he managed a shaky smile.

Nathaniel shrugged one shoulder. "Good. You going to come back to the castle now, before I get eaten?"

The potion started to enter his bloodstream. "Yes. The castle."

"You uh... might want to get the stain off your robes first. It's a bit of a give-away, that."

Piotr looked confused and shaky. "Stain?"

"I'd offer, while I can still do this...." Nathaniel flicked his wrist and made the sphere hover in the air. " .. but I don't know the right words yet. Yeah, there's a massive stain on the right hand sleeve of your robe."

"Oh. Stain." Piotr pulled out his wand and mumbled words of a spell. His robes cleaned up. He smiled weakly and then seemed to sag. "Best...to pretend...I've been drinking....Nathaniel?"

Nathaniel got to his feet and brushed himself off. "Yeah, that'll be fine, Piotr."

"You won't....say anything?" His knees sagged slightly.

Nathaniel took the sphere out of the air. "Of course not. You need a hand?"

Piotr looked proud and tried for the upright for a moment, then sagged again, nodding silently. Nathaniel stepped closer to Piotr and looked at him for a long moment.

"Tell me exactly what's wrong with you right now.."

"My....blood....is fighting back against the potion..." A weak smile. "It's becoming resistant."

Bleeding edges tore in Nathaniel's mind, and he blinked very slowly, and then looked at the contact juggling sphere in his hand. Piotr just looked very sick.

"Inter canem et lupum." Nathaniel said very softly, and the sphere rippled with blue green fire for a split instant. Then he held it out to Piotr."Hang onto that for a while... it might help....?"

Sighing, preoccupied, the angel let the wind carry him away.

"What is it?" Piotr asked suspiciously.

"An illusion of strength. A dream of courage. A defiant ray of sunlight at twilight." Nathaniel's voice was odd, dreamy.

Piotr took the sphere, almost curiously. Then his knees gave out totally and he sank to the ground for a few moments before struggling back up. "It...helps. I have to sleep now..."

"Come on. Back to the castle, before we get caught in here."

*********

Coming into the library looking for Niki, Raphael comes on Branwen, Marvo and Sarah. Branwen, her timing impeccable, soon leaves Raphael and Sarah alone to talk, and with Marvo on the other side of the room, the conversation gets more personal...

Shaking his head, Raphael murmured to Sarah, "no, I'll be okay." With that, he got up and started moving out of the library, with Sarah mourning the repellent magic touch she seems to have developed.

"Well, if you're sure..." she said mournfully. Raphael, stopping in his tracks, came back to Sarah and sat down on the table, studying her. She looked back expectantly. "So?"

Raphael hesitated, thinking about what he wanted to say carefully before starting. "So do you want me to back off with from you?" he said, fitfully, before starting again. "With this you and Nathaniel thing?"

"What? No..." said Sarah, but then... "Oh...." she sighed, with a blush. "I want us all to stay friends. I care for both of you very much..."

"- but you are... with... you are...?" interjected Raphael.

"I think we are getting there...yes, but that doesn't change..."

With a nod, Raphael interrupted. "He's a gentleman. And..." he murmured, looking down, "and... there's something - something wrong with me, isn't there?"

Shaking her head, Sarah quickly said, "no....no there isn't. You're like a firework....you're amazing." But then Raphael stopped her.

"I don't mean..." he started explaining with a sigh, "with me as a man." Forcing himself to look at her, he said, "I mean something else."

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked, thinking that he hadn't heard... or didn't believe... but she did care for him.

"I mean... where do you go when you dream?" Raphael asked suddenly.

"Sometimes home...sometimes here. How about you - where do you go?"

"I... I had a home, once," he explained. "If you go home in your dreams, what is... here?"

"Here is school but here is also a castle and it had history," she explained, confused. "I sometimes find myself dreaming of the secret places."

"No - I mean..." he stared, before she could continue. "If you go home in your dreams... what do you leave behind, here...?"

"Oh, I guess my body..." she said, but noticing Raphael pale expression and his silence, she asked, "that is normal isn't it?"

"Yes."

"What about you?" she asked.

Raphael sighed, and started slowly studying his hands "You know, they..."

"Your hands do something?"

Suddenly dropping his hands, Raphael started again. "I think... things will be a little... odd... if I spend all of my time with you and Nathaniel," he murmured, ignoring Marvo in favour of studying Sarah as Marvo stepped out of the room.

"Yeah people might talks," Sarah said with a hesitant smile. "Anyway I thought you were making friends like with Niki."

"Yeah," conceded Raphael, sadly.

"I wouldn't care if they did mind you...."

"But...?" asked Raphael.

"No buts..."

"No buts...? what do you mean?"

Sarah started quickly. "I mean that I care for both of you and I don't care what anyone might say about that. I don't want to choose..."

"But Nathaniel has chosen for us, then," interceded Raphael.

"Because loosing either of you would feel awful."

"But there is... something more with you and Nathaniel...?" asked Raphael.

Suddenly, Sarah asked Raphael, "Raphael - what do you want?

Looking down, Raphael asked easily, the words coming to him suddenly. "I... I want you to be... away from me," he told her, not looking her in the face.

Sarah couldn't say anything, looking at Raphael like someone had slapped her.

"And then... I want you to be near me," admitted Raphael even more wretchedly. But then, before he could explain, Nathaniel walked in, supporting Piotr, who looked ill and exhausted. Seeing Nathaniel, Raphael muttered, "er... I gotta go."

"Thank...you. I'll head to the Slytherin dormitories now..." Piotr said, to Nathaniel, who unceremoniously dumped the other in a chair, while Nathaniel grabbed a Slytherin first year and bullied him into helping Piotr.

"Let me find a Slytherin to get you back to your common room," explained Nathaniel, as Raphael got up off the table and started walking out, beaten to the door by Piotr and the Slytherin. Nathaniel, seeing Raphael and Sarah, also started heading for the door.

Sarah decided that enough was enough. "Both of you... sit," she ordered. Nathaniel stopped first, and leant on the table, and in response Raphael hesitantly leant on a bookcase opposite the other student. "Now the fact of the matter is I like both of you very much, but I don't want either of you to feel excluded or not able to be friends - with each other as well as me."

At this, Nathaniel started sorting out his hair, and Raphael stared woodenly at the floor. "So what's the solution?"

"It's... more complicated then that, Sarah." said Raphael staring at the floor.

"OK explain it to me then..."

"It's always complicated," interjected Nathaniel, angry at himself.

Quietly, Raphael started. "It shouldn't be. It doesn't have to be."

"I complicate things," said Nathaniel in a final tone of voice. "I always have."

"No you don't..." Sarah added vehemently.

"You aren't the problem," murmured Raphael, over her.

"Then if I'm not the problem, who is?" asked Nathaniel.

Raphael's answer was simple. "Me."

"You? How so?"

Incredulously, Nathaniel added, "yeah, right, Raph."

A silence fell, and Raphael broke it. "Have you two..." he started with a wince, "kissed?"

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"So... since Saturday - since you kissed in the woods after I... after I... since Saturday -"

"In the woods?" asked Nathaniel, stopping Raphael.

"We didn't kiss in the woods," said Sarah. Looking at each other, neither her nor Nathaniel knew what he meant.

"Whatever," said Raphael, sullenly.

"Tonight, Raph. By the lake," said Nathaniel, rubbing his cheek like it bothered him.

"... I have to... I have to..." whispered Raphael urgently, tensing and shutting his eyes, as Sarah looked from one to the other. All she could think was that she felt like she'd been here before... deja-vu... an other-place kind of feeling... "I should leave this room, shouldn't I, then?"

"Go and... leave this to be..." murmured Raphael.

Nathaniel started to pace, as Stalks by Night on the table sat bolt upright. "No, Raph," said Nathaniel suddenly. Sarah looked at Stalks-by-Night, asking him silently what was happening.

"You know..." started Raphael, studying the inside of his eyelids, "I feel like this when Piotr looks at me... I look at you two, and it makes me... feel..." murmured Raphael, suddenly cracking his knuckles.

Nathaniel watched the cat lashing it's tail and then stomped over to Raphael, catching him by the shoulders. "You are not excluded." he said in a low, tight voice.

Sarah nodded in agreement, slowly. That's what I've been trying to say," she said, "less clearly - but in essence."

As she spoke, Raphael suddenly pushed Nathaniel away, his eyes on fire. "Why?" he asked the other. "Why would having me around ever be a good thing?"

"Because you are you," murmured Sarah.

Nathaniel took a single step back and met those eyes with an intense green look of his own, until Raphael seemed to sag. He stepped back against the wall, and closed his eyes. "Am I?" he whispered, in response to Sarah.

"Because of all the moments that would go to waste without you," started Nathaniel, firmly, intensely. "Because of all the dreams that would go unspoken, because of all the friendly laughter that would go to waste, because of you." Sarah nodded in agreement.

"There's a dark place," Raphael whispered, "and it's like drowning... what happens if I...?"

"You won't be alone..." threw in Sarah.

"The word for the dark places is Lumos." Nathaniel put a firm hand on Raphael's shoulder. "The word for the drowning places is swim." Other places. Other times. Thoughts spinning, slashing, and he looked at Raphael's left hand. Raphael let himself put his right hand on Nathaniel's', slowly.

"Do you... remember?"

Sarah stood still, hardly breathing.

Nathaniel closed his eyes, and trembled. A miasma of shadows seemed to dance at his boots, and his left cheek ached. Stalks by Night leapt from the table onto a chair with a yowl. Nathaniel didn't notice. With his free hand, his left hand, Raphael reached out to Sarah, as fire slashed across his mind. She took it. "There was... thunder..." said Raphael, "but it was so much... easier... then..."

"There's a beast in a labyrinth." Nathaniel said, his words edged with steel. "Yes. Easier. Some things were." As Sarah, still afraid to break the quiet, reached across to Nathaniel, he opened his eyes and looked at her, dazed. He took her hand, and as he did, a tingle of power flashed across her.

"This time... this one... I can't cut him out... have you..." started Raphael.

But Nathaniel was somewhere else. As his hand met Sarah's, he stared at her and other memories hurt. "Beth.... Raph, keep Sarah safe from me."

"...have you... ever found that there's something... it moves and slithers..." continued Raphael, bathed in disgust and pain.

Nathaniel swore. "The right words, Raphael... what are the right words..."

Sarah slowly stared at Nathaniel, incredulous. "Safe.....from you?"

"Keep her safe... old man," replied Raphael to Nathaniel, "she... she isn't safe from... either of us."

"Safe from my failure to protect." Nathaniel looked sadly at Sarah. Then he looked back to Raph. "The right words, kid. If we don't find the right words we're gonna get in trouble real soon.."

But then, suddenly spurned into action, Raphael grabbed at Nathaniel. "What... what..." he rasped, "what if this time... the fire... is...me...?"

Confused, Sarah whispered: "Fire?"

"The right words!" Nathaniel shouted at Raphael, seeing the scared look in Sarah's eyes.

"I don't know the right words," was Raphael's only reply.

"The words to do what?" Sarah asked.

Nathaniel closed his eyes, and gripped their hands firmly. "Then don't move for a minute... we've made a triad without the words... wait..." But to Sarah he replied: "Can't you feel it? Look at your feet... look at the shadows..."

Suddenly she gripped their hands more firmly. "I can feel it... What will it do ...crack the worlds.... consume...us?" she asked, falling silent.

"Or..." murmured Raphael, still lost somewhere far away from Sarah and Nathaniel. "What happens... when... when they come?" he said, to both of them. "What happens when... I can't...anymore?"

Slowly, haltingly, Nathaniel started.... "solis infusco... ater atra atrum...ter tres tria..." The shadows at their feet leapt and spun and fled from them, falling out behind them like a bright light burned in the centre. As it did, something waked in Raphael, and started to burn, silently, invisibly, inside him. A single tear slid down Nathaniel's' cheek. Behind his closed eyes, scenes of other times were unfolding.

Something he can feel under his skin... thinking... waiting... and Raphael's hands... start to tremble. "Something worse... something deeper... something that has... something that..." whispered Raphael to them, not aware of the moment or the struggle within Nathaniel, or of the fact that Sarah herself is deeply tranced, waiting, experiencing the contact with the other two.

"He once told me," Raphael murmured to Sarah, almost not seeing her, whispering in the dark, "he once told me... that we all had our...demons. Our demons... inside."

"Yes....yes we do... I can .....contain..." started Sarah.

"I can't," whispered Raphael, a whiplash reply as he started to understand.

"aeternus eternus familiaritas." Nathaniel wept the last words, and then the bright light was gone, and the shadows were just shadows again.

For a second, coming back, Raphael looked at his hands, and saw them as.. as... cloven... but then, instantly, they went. And with the shadows fleeing, the fire died. Stalks by Night leapt from the table and flung himself into Nathaniel's arms, purring loudly and butting his head up against his chest.

"You found the words," said the cat, an amazing deep bass voice from such a tiny kitten. Nathaniel almost dropped the kitten.

"Stalks!" exclaimed Sarah. Raphael let himself lean against the bookcase, closing his eyes.

Stalks-by-night suddenly looked up. "Meow?" he hazarded.

"We couldn't have both imagined?" Sarah asked, looking at Nathaniel, and at the kitten, who purred innocently.

Slowly, Raphael asked: "Did Stalks by Night...?"

"Did a Glueclaws....yeah for a second," Sarah replied.

"Shock." said Nathaniel firmly, putting the kitten down quickly. "A combined hallucination caused by shock."

"Agreed," said Sarah, still looking at the cat in admiration.

"Nathaniel," said Raphael, looking up at him, suddenly.

But Nathaniel's knees went weak then, and he sat down hurriedly. "Raphael."

Raphael followed downwards, and let himself slide down the bookcase on to the floor. "You aren't... allowed... to forget." But even as Raphael said the words, they started to fade in his mind.

"Forget what, kid?"

"What..." whispered Raphael, almost to himself, "what I see... when I dream... what you see... If... if... if this is to work... then you both.. have to start... helping me to remember," he finished.

Trying to stop Raphael being serious, Sarah replied: "Well yeah...I'm cool with that."

"The dreams....? of the Summer Country, the flights of dragons, the foot high letters burning in stone?" A distinctly odd note in Nathaniel's voice.

"Does that ring a bell?" Sarah smiled at that, to herself.

"Not even vaguely," replied Raphael. "But..."

"But?" Nathaniel made it to his feet on the second try and reached down a hand to Raph. But then, suddenly, Raphael groaned and let his head flop onto his right hand. "But?" Nathaniel urged gently.

"You two have been kissing," was Raphael's pained replied. "Oh god damn. I hate being a teenager."

Nathaniel laughed softly, still looking at Raphael. "I won't mind if you do. Come on, kid, there's a comfy chair in the common room with my name on it."

"Oh and I'm sure that it gets so much easier the older you get," said Sarah, dazed. "Yeah - come on you two...."

Rolling his eyes, Raphael stood up, although... he still looked at his hands as if they were alien. "Okay."

"I'm not going to let you fall this time." Nathaniel said suddenly.

Slowly, he started pushing deep into waters - "off the peak... and into... the dark...?" Stalks by Night tapped Sarah's foot with a paw and beckoned her to the door with his tail, leading her out.

Nathaniel nodded at Raphael, not saying anything. "You need to protect her when I'm not there."

"You need to protect her when I am," said Raphael, snapping out of his reverie suddenly, seriously.

Sarah followed the cat outside, and commented: "They need some male bonding time huh?"

"If you love her, then I don't." Nathaniel sighed in response to Raphael, not realising that Sarah was just outside, in the corridor, almost in hearing range.

"I love her," said Raphael, without thinking. But... "But... I'm not - I'm not me."

"You are what you need to be."

Outside, Sarah looked at Stalks. "I just heard the word....." she said, leaning down to pat the cat. Stalks by Night looked up at her somewhat smugly.

Inside, shame filling his face, Raphael suddenly couldn't look at Nathaniel. "Today... I looked at you... and I could feel... the... beast... and it wanted to... it wanted to..."

"It wanted out." Nathaniel finished for him.

"It wanted to rip your smug jaw off," said Raphael, only choking on the words after they had escaped, feeling a wash of bitter gall beneath his throat.

"Smug?" Nathaniel laughed a soft laugh. "And there was me falling all over myself to leave you two alone."

Raphael let the air in his lungs out. "Me too," he admitted, but then..."It's... stronger then me."

"No, it's not," replied Nathaniel strongly.

Outside in the corridor, Sarah started to consider leaving. But Stalks had other ideas, as he placed a firm paw on her foot, indicating that where she was was fine, and she nodded in assent. Then, suddenly - Zephyr, rushing about, ran full pelt into her. "Hey Zephyr..." murmured Sarah.

"you... they... what did you do to him?" asked Zephyr, in his strange soft lilt, whispering in the corner. He wasn't afraid - just being corny because it was in his nature

"Working stuff out ...old stuff between them...as well as new. Think it's okay," Sarah told the angel.

"I don't think... it's stronger... then... Rose... perhaps," said Raphael, back in the library.

"It's not stronger than YOU." Nathaniel insisted.

"Is it stronger then us together?" mused Raphael, thinking black thoughts to himself.

"No way." Nathaniel shook his head. "Can't get sparks out of a bit of wood, but you felt the power, didn't you?"

Suddenly, Raphael asked Nathaniel: "what if one day, the demons turns Sarah into... makes... what happened to... Beth...?"

The colour drained from Nathaniel's face, with the exception of his left cheek which flared red as though he'd been slapped. "It is NOT going to happen!" he half yelled.

Raphael shuddered. "Do you know how much I fear... that?" he asked, although he couldn't remember who Beth was... it just seemed... right.

"Do you know much I fear that?!" The rough note of anger was still in Nathaniel's voice.

On the other side of the doorway, though, with his eyes closed, Zephyr murmured, "Beth? when did he...?"

"Don't know... " replied Sarah, "I don't know who Beth is but - Zephyr - they don't need to worry about me. I'm more than I look."

Swaggering a little, Zephyr looked at Sarah. "you know that boy you call Raph? well he's a clever git but he's a bit thick."

"Thick?" she questioned Zephyr, shaking her head. "Just needs time...."

"yeah, wazzup with you, then?" asked Zephyr of Sarah.

"You're an angel right?" she countered.

"Of a kind." the cat, Stalks-by-Night, said in its heavy bass voice, full of derision.

Looking at Sarah, the angel shrugged, a complex manoeuvre, considering the wings. "dunno. who, me? I'm no-one. just a figment of your imagination."

"Cool," said Sarah, sitting by Stalks, "and you?"

But the angel was wagging his finger at the kitten in question. "don't steal my limelight."

"Meow." the cat said flatly. The expression on his face was a sight. Zephyr blew a raspberry at the cat, and in response, the cat hissed right back, arching its back lazily.

"And..." asked Raphael quietly, back in the library, "do you know how much... it... do you know... what's in me...?"

Nathaniel closed his eyes briefly. "I don't remember..."

Raphael didn't close his eyes, or try to remember. "You remember... it's wrong, it's... different... so much..."

"Look, Raph... let's keep this to ourselves for a bit. This is just.... private."

"Okay," said Raphael, although he glanced at the door, outside which Sarah stood. "... you love her, too?"

Nathaniel followed his glance to where Sarah was, or so he thought, out of earshot. "Yeah."

"And there you have it, my dear." said Stalks with a green glance, to Sarah whose ears were burning. "Complex, aren't humans?"

"Yes, they are...." she replied.

Laughing softly, Raphael looked down at the floor. "Things... the last six months were so... and now... complicated."

"Let's not make them any more complicated. We love her, she cares for us. Let's leave it at that, and not make enemies of ourselves.."

A wicked gleam lit up Raphael's eyes. "Boundaries?"

Nathaniel scratched his head thoughtfully. "What do you suggest?"

Outside, with a comic sense of timing, Zephyr waved maniacally at Sarah. "hey look at me, I can do tricks," he told her, blew on the floor sharply and thrust himself into the roof.

"show-off," commented Stalks. But then - "Hey, angel. What happened with Nat in the woods...?"

"Yeah, my thought exactly!" said Sarah, looking from the cat to the angel.

Zephyr looked thoughtful, but only for as long as was 'cool'. "dead simple man meets... er... you..., love both ways, sparks. the old'e' luv is one of da things that you put in angel song, you know that?"

"I didn't know that..." murmured Sarah.

"No, you stupid airborne feathered fiend!" exclaimed Stalks. "Tonight in the woods, with pale stick throwing boy?"

"Piotr?" commented Sarah.

"Yes," replied the cat curtly. "Stick throwing boy."

Plucking a feather off his oil black wings, which were blending into the shadows. The feather he started to tickle the cat with. "oh, that weirdo? Him'n the old man were talking about stuff."

"Yeah well he should chase after people's...ummm companions..." said Sarah, suddenly thinking that it wasn't right to call Stalks a pet. However -

"Cat." Stalks by Night reminded Sarah gently. "I am a cat, and a pet at that. Oh, and in case I didn't mention this before, I don't talk. And I didn't just say that."

"Of course, you don't...." agreed Sarah, with a wicked wink.

With a grin, Zephyr started, "I'm no pet, I'm the master of the universe. I'm a lot cleverer then anyone," he added, pulling Stalk's tail playfully. In his cat response, Stalks leapt on Zephyr and started trying to separate his wings from the rest of him. Zephyr floated up towards the ceiling with the cat on him, but then faded out of existence, only to phase back in a meter below, to catch the cat and bound him about with huge wings.

Stalks-by-night ended up on his back, and recovering, stalked off haughtily.

********

Back inside, rubbing his left wrist on his cheek, Raphael rolled his eyes. "I never thought I'd be having this conversation."

Nathaniel grinned back, more than wickedly. "Neither did I. Let's keep this as civilised as possible. It's not like I want to duel you at dawn for something, okay?"

"No duelling at dawn. It wouldn't be fair," added Raphael with a grin. "I'm too much a morning guy for you to deal with, anyway."

"Yeah, right, kid." Nathaniel grinned. "Come on. You want to set up boundaries now or later in the dorm?"

"In the dorm? Do you think we could have hot chocolate and..." Finding the smile stuck to his face, Raphael stopped. "This is very complicated."

"No more complicated than it needs to be. How about this, no more than kissing?" Nathaniel shuffled his feet self-consciously. "And no more vanishing acts."

"No more vanishing acts." Like he couldn't believe himself, Raphael stopped, closed his eyes, and grinned at himself. "Okay. Let's go, old man."

"Hot chocolate. Common room. No more irrational power binding." Nathaniel, stepping outside, caught up the kitten and swept it onto his shoulder.

Giving up any idea of calming down the angel or the cat, Sarah stood up. "Oh...hi you two - I didn't get very far after all." Behind her, Zephyr stood up and unfolded his wings. Suddenly, six and a half foot tall, he displayed his muscleman pose, grinned a lot, and curled up to his child size again ruefully. Sarah giggled at the angel as he tried to give Raphael an innocent stare.

"Show off," commented Nathaniel, distracted from the idea that Sarah heard every word.

"Show off," agreed Raphael, looking at Zephyr and grinning.

And Sarah smiled to herself, and thought that 'just' kissing would be pretty nice.