Dear Dylan,

I don't know what you may have heard, but I think it's probably not true. I need to talk to you.

It's important. Nathan has...he's been hurting me. I'm afraid to say anything to anyone about it, but I'm afraid he'll kill me. You're the only person I can trust. Please.

Meet me outside the Charms classroom as soon as you get this. I may be delayed a little, but I'll be there as soon as I can.

Niki

The little grey owl surprised Dylan out of his thoughts in the Gryffindor Common Room, but the content of the message surprised him more. For a moment, Dylan hesitated. He'd been jerked around by Niki before, painfully so. But this sounded legitimate. So did the other problems, said his devil's advocate. Dylan shook his head, crumpling the letter and putting it in his pocket. He couldn't risk the chance that it was true. He simply couldn't. She still had her fingers wrapped tightly around his heart, and when she squeezed, he had no choice but to do what she wanted.

Sighing softly, Dylan left the Gryffindor Tower and headed down to the Charms classroom.

Dear Nathan,

I need to talk to you. And it has to be secret.

It's important. Dylan has...he's been hurting me. I'm afraid to say anything to anyone about it, but I'm afraid he'll kill me. You're the only person I can trust. Please.

Meet me outside the Charms classroom as soon as you get this. I may be delayed a little, but I'll be there as soon as I can.

Niki

The express Owl reached Nathan in the Slytherin common room where he had just started to study a bit. He took the message with surprise and read it. Immediately, his surprise turned to fury. He grabbed his wand and got up.

"You picked the wrong girl to mess with, buddy," he growled while hurrying outside, then he stopped on his heels, ran into his dorm, took out a smallish bottle with some bluish liquid and hurried to the Charms corridor

When Nathan and Dylan arrived, the corridor outside the Charms classroom was empty. [I'm not sure which arrived first...] If anyone had taken the time to look very carefully indeed, they would have found that, behind the large statue of Victoria the Voluptuous, a scantily clad witch, Niki was propped up. She was completely rigid, all her muscles tightened. Even her jaw was clamped shut. It was the Full Body-Bind curse, and only her eyes moved.

But no-one looked carefully. Least of all Dylan and Nathan, as they came face to face.

Dylan hit the Charms corridor first, quick even when he didn't mean to be. One hand clutched the letter, crumpled in his grasp, and he looked around warily, giving the area a cursory glance. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, definitely no Niki, and for a split second, before all hell broke loose, he thought about going back and abandoning his fool's errand.

Nathan took the corner to the charms corridor and immediately spotted Dylan. Quickly, he slid back behind the turn in the corridor and watched what the other boy was doing. Why was he here? Had he intercepted Niki's message? What was he waiting for?

Dylan waited a few more minutes, his arms crossed defensively in front of his chest. He didn't like this. Yet again, he'd been played for the fool. Swearing in frustration, Dylan threw the crumpled note to the floor, and began to storm off--in the unseen Nathan's direction.

"Ouch!!" Nathan flicked his wand out.

Dylan steps back, startled, "Sorry, sorry...*realises to whom he's speaking and shakes his head, "Or maybe not."

Nathan points his wand at Dylan, "what are you doing with her?"

Dylan blinked...then blinked again "Wha'"?

"You know quite well who I'm talking about!" Answered Nathan "Leave her alone or you'll regret it, I'll not watch my girlfriend being threatened by a jealous ex!"

Dylan sputters for a moment "Wait, wait...wha' are you goin' on about?"

Nathan looked extremely angry "No, I won't wait, you heard me! This is my last warning, next time you'll get to know my not so nice self!"

"I haven't touched her since term started, thank you very much." Answered Dylan "I think you're th' one who has some explainin' t' do."

"Why should I explain anything when it's YOU that threatens her?"

Dylan was outraged "Me?! You're off your block!"

Niki tries to make noise, but even her vocal chords are clenched tightly

"Then why did she ask me to come here?" Asked Nathan "And what are you doing here anyway, did you intercept her message or what?"

Dylan looked perplexed "Intercept? I got one o' m' own, thanks. Tellin' me tha' you've been threatenin' her."

Nathan gapes at Dylan "show me that message"

Dylan reaches in his pocket, then shakes his head "Dropped it back there, figured it was a set-up or sommat." And gestures to the corridor behind him.

Nathan digs into his own pocket and hands the crumpled message to Dylan. Dylan takes it and scans it quickly

"Same bloody thin' tha' I got."

Nathan frowns "I wonder..." He starts to look around

Dylan scowls "You, too?"

Niki eyes darting about wildly. Dylan sets off to have a careful look about the Charms corridor. Niki is only half-hidden by the statue But they have not seen her yet.

Dylan catches sight of her quickly enough. "Niki! Wha's goin' on?"

Nathan Also sees Niki and rushes over. "HEY! Come out, whoever thought this is funny!"

Niki eyes start to fill up with tears

Nathan Suddenly realises why Niki is not answering, or moving. "She's petrified or something!" He points his wand , "Ennervate!"

Niki crumples, no longer held by the spell, and half stumbles half runs to grab hold of Dylan

Dylan catches her "easily Y' all right?"

"You okay?" Asks Nathan, rushing over to her

Niki shakes her head and clings to Dylan "It was Arcadia. And the new girl...Carina."

Nathan looks murderous and Dylan scowls "Doesn't surprise me none." He says. "Dylan, take care of her. Niki, see you later." Nathan turns to storms off.

Niki hurries after him "Nat...!"

Nathan turned "That girl's going to learn a lesson today that she'll NEVER forget again!"

"Don't fancy you're goin' t' give it alone, not for a minute." Replied Dylan

"And I'm coming, too." added Niki "But we need a plan--you're acting like a Gryffindor."

Dylan looked at Niki "You say tha' like it's a bad thin'."

"You stay out of this," Nathan said to them. "you'll only get in trouble with the Ministry if you get involved. Both of you."

Well," Said Niki "Gryffindor plans go something like "Everyone on the count of three". And we've just as much right to get into trouble as you do, Nathan."

Dylan rolls his eyes "I don't want--or need--your protection. In case y' didn't notice, I'm involved, too."

Nathan turned to leave. "That girl uses dark magic, I bet, and don't tell me you're the best one in that class. Leave her to me"

"Actually, he is." Said Niki "They didn't do anything illegal. Just hexed me and wrote the notes...I think it's a variant of Polyjuice potion they used to make my handwriting"

Dylan grins a little at Niki and Niki grins back, a little timidly

Nathan stopped and faced Niki and Dylan. "I don't care whether it's legal or illegal, I'm going to teach her her place in the world"

Niki takes firm hold of Nathan's wrist and tugs him back towards Dylan so all three are standing together

"Point is," Said Dylan "it's easier t' make a plan wi' three people t' use rather than one."

Nathan glares at Dylan "who says I'm going to plan anything?"

Niki put her hand up to stop Nathan. "I'm not getting you expelled from here, too! Don't be an idiot!"

"Wha', goin' t' charge off an' crack her one? Real bright." Sneered Dylan.

Expelled? Nathan laughs "No way! Then Arcy would get expelled too. Nathan I'm just going to talk to her. that's all."

Niki gave a concerned look "If you hurt another girl...you know that she could twist it."

"An' somehow tha's goin' t' teach her a lesson?" Asked Dylan

"You would know if you wouldn't keep me from doing it." Said Nathan

"You're being selfish." Said Niki crossing her arms.

"I'M BEING SELFISH???" Cried Nathan

"Yes, you are"

"I want her to leave YOU alone and I'm selfish?" He said, as in disbelief.

Dylan rolls his eyes "Look, you're bein' offered backup. Take it an' stop bein' daft."

"I - don't - want - YOUR - backup!!!" snarled Nathan.

Niki tried to stay calm. "You think you're the only one who was affected, you're being selfish. You think you're the only one who deserves satisfaction, you're being selfish. And mine? I'm not good enough for you, either?"

"I don't want you to get into trouble." Nathan replied "And I don't think I was the only one affected - I know that YOU were the only one affected. I don't want satisfaction, I want her to leave you alone"

"You're acting like my older brother. You're NOT." Said Niki

Dylan watches the squabble, half-irritated, half-amused

"I'm your boyfriend! I'd never react like that if my siblings were involved!" Nathan said to Niki

"You talking to her is going to make her leave me alone? I don't think so...not unless you do something that gets you in trouble or makes me very angry with you."

Nathan shrugs angrily "Fine! Then let's do nothing at all!"

"Tha's equally stupid." Said Dylan

Niki glares "I just want...to DO something."

"Revenge?" asked Nathan "What for? Then she'll do the next thing. I don't want a war, I want her to stop."

"And how are you going to do THAT?" ask Niki

"Even Arcadia must have a spot with some sense in her brain, and I'll use it." Said Nathan, "She's mad and jealous at ME, that's why she did this. So I have to get this straight with her. And no, no threats. I can't afford threatening Fudge's daughter. I have no intention of going to Azkaban." Nathan paced, angry and frustrated.

"No" Said Niki, walking to him, "I think she's angry with me. Tish and I were...saying some nasty things about the cheerleaders at dinner. Just before this."

Dylan rolls his eyes "An' how did I get dragged into this, then?

Nathan also rolls eyes "right. And it's got nothing to do with the fact that you ‘stole her boyfriend’."

Niki glares at Dylan "I don't know--ask her!"

" you're a tool, Dylan, that's all." Said Nathan

"DON'T you call my friend a fool" Shouted Niki

Nathan put up his hands in defence "a TOOL!!! I said TOOL! Arcadia used him! that's what I meant"

Niki grumbles to herself

"Regardless," Said Dylan "either y' get this t' stop by talkin' t' her, or I do it m' self. I don't fancy bein' used or Niki bein' hurt."

"As I'm not allowed to talk to her, go and deal with it your own way. I tried my best but obviously, I'm not wanted." Said Nathan

Niki wraps her arms around herself "I didn't mean that, Nat."

Dylan looked at Nathan "Stop bein' childish. You've made your point, get on wi' it. Tha's th' trouble wi' Slytherins--no follow-through."

Nathan glares at Dylan "Fine then. Let's start with the insults. How very clever and so helpful."

"STOP IT!" shouted Niki "Both of you!"

Dylan spoke in a calm voice "Well, I can't talk rationally t' you, might as well settle for old standards."

Nathan walked across the room as he spoke "Rationally? You two are the ones being irrational! Revenge against Arcadia Fudge, as if Niki isn't in trouble with her grandmother already!"

"I Didn't say she had t' have anythin' t' do wi' it."

Niki stares, aghast, at Dylan

Dylan looks at her "Look, he has a point...b'sides, she doesn't think me capable o' anythin', anyway."

Nathan shakes his head "I don't know what you have in mind, but I'd Better leave before you say it."

Dylan shrugged "Do wha' you're goin ' t' do. If it fails, my turn."

Nathan shakes his head "No way. Niki doesn't want me to talk to her, so I won't. Since I won't try to hex her, it's your turn"

Niki retreats to sit on the base of the statue

"No, I don't want you two to go off and not let me DO anything. Talk to her."

Nathan shrugs "maybe"

Dylan goes to say something, and bites his tongue

Niki gets up and walks over to Nathan, looking up into his face, "Nathan. Whatever you think is best."

"How am I supposed to know?" Said Nathan "I'm only trying to help you! So you tell me what to do and I'll do it - and in the end you'll still dislike it, I bet. Whatever. Forget it."

Niki turns away "I'm just upset. Not being rational."

Then Arcadia enters the room, and stops, looking at all of them

Dylan swears softly

Nathan smiles politely and very coolly

Niki backs away, and, unfortunately, into Dylan

"Ow! Sorry."

"S' alright."

Nathan looks straight at Arcadia, his smile gone. "Checking if you finally managed to get a plan through? Well, sorry to tell you, but you didn't."

"What's going on?" Asked Arcadia, innocently

Niki hisses, cat-like. Nathan looks at Niki. Niki looks down, but nods a little

Then it was Dylan’s turn to speak to Arcadia "Why don't y' tell us? After all, y' had a good bit t' do wi' all o' this."

Nathan looks at Dylan and remains silent

Arcadia frowns

Niki takes Dylan's hand and leads him farther down the corridor

"I have NO idea what you're talking about!" Says Arcadia, feigning innocence

Niki doesn't drop Dylan’s hand, even though he is not resisting.

Dylan in a sotto voice "Wha'?"

Nathan walked closer to Arcadia. "Hey, Arcy."

"Yes Nathan?"

"Could you do me a favour?"

"What Nathan?" Arcadia looks a tiny bit worried

"I want to have a serious talk with you, so please no ‘I'd never’s’ or ‘how dare you’s’ or anything like that. Straight, serious talk.

"I don't understand Nathan?"

"Drop your pretty mask for just ten minutes, Arcy, will you?"

" I...."

Nathan waits

In the corridor Niki was speaking to Dylan. "What did the letters say? I heard them writing, but..."

Dylan colours a little, "Tha' Nathan was hurtin' you, and y' were scared. His said th' same about me."

Niki lips tighten "Hurting me?"

Dylan nodded.

"That's ridiculous! You know that I wouldn't...would never..." She was at a loss for words

"Would ne'er wha'? I've had at least one set o' assumptions shattered this term, Niki, let's go for two."

"LET someone hurt me. What assumptions?"

Dylan shakes his head , "Don't act all innocent wi' me. Coy doesn't suit you."

" I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Dylan. Enlighten me."

**********

Arcadia Looks Angry "What’s it to you ANYWAY Lagrand! YOU left me for.. for.. THAT!"

She Points towards the corridor where Niki stands

"It IS something to me if you hurt her, Arcy."

"Good!"

"So you're obviously not willing to talk. Fine. I'll leave you to Dylan then."

"What?"

Nathan sighs and gives Arcadia a long, long look.

"I hate you Lagrade! Almost as much at the Dwarf and the Welsh Squib!"

"You're such a great girl, Arcy, why are you ruining yourself with things like this?"

"Nice? you think I'm nice? Yes. I HAVE been nice! But Maybe I'll stop being nice? is THAT what you want?"

"No, Arcadia, you HAVEN'T been nice. You're the most spoilt brat I ever met, including myself, and that's not easy. You don't have one single real friend. All you do is tricks and lies. And one day you'll realize that you have nobody at all, because you scared them all away or made them hate you."

"I have all the friends I need", but she had a slight tear in her amber eyes

"Name one, Arcy. Just one."

After a moment’s pause Arcadia answers. "Carina is my friend!"

" You know, believe it or not, I still think you're a great girl... but I didn't leave you because of Niki, I left you because of you. And if you think Carina is a friend... well... "

"...what?"

"You're not that stupid, Arcy. You know better than to trust her entirely, don't you."

"I trust no one. except me… Pan"

"Exactly. As I said, you don't have any friends. Except for Pan."

"And look what happens when I TRY! LOOK what you did! I HATE you!"

" I'd still be your friend if you wouldn't attack my girlfriend! Doesn't that get into your head? People don't like their friends being attacked! I'd still be your friend if you wouldn't attack my girlfriend! Doesn't that get into your head?"

"Girlfriend!"

"Yes."

"But... WHY! I'm so much prettier than her!" A Tear runs down Pans face

"Because beneath that pretty shell, Arcadia, there is a spoilt and cold egoistic being which won't allow itself to be liked. I tried and I gave up. Don't blame Niki for it."

"I Loved you! I tried to be good for you! I even took a potion! You didn't even NOTICE!"

"You think I didn't love you?"

"YOU didn't care at all! YOU had your Drake and that was it! YOU liked him more than me."

Nathan shakes head. "Why can't you understand that some people are loyal to more than one person? Drake's my twin brother in mind. We're like you and Pan almost. You demanded the impossible when forcing me to choose between the two of you"

"Don't you dare say you're like me and Pan. you have NO IDEA about me and Pan!"

"And you, Arcy, have no idea at all about me and Drake! Why can't you accept that I still think you're a great girl? That things could have been different if you hadn't been so consuming and mean?"

"I feel you betrayed me Nathan. I can't forgive that. I just... Can't"

"I can sort of understand you being jealous of Niki – but jealous of Drake? That ridiculous!"

"I didn't see a difference!"

"You don't want to be loved, Arcy, you want to be worshipped!"

" I can't be loved. there is no one like me. no one."

" I was really, really in love with you, then you chased me away.."

Arcadia sobs

"It's over, Arcy. But that doesn't mean I hate you."

Arcadia continues to sob

"If you'd just stop making yourself unlovable, it'd be easier for others as well."

"You don't understand!"

"You're right, I don't."

"Remember the Boggit? You know what I fear the most?"

"No, I don't."

"Me. I fear Me! Do you know what that's like?"

Nathan smirks darkly, "Yes, I do."

"You do NOT!"

"Can't you ever stop telling people what they think?"

Arcadia looks shocked

Nathan sighs, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

*********

As this was going on a little further along the corridor Niki and Dylan were sorting themselves out.

Dylan coloured a deeper shade of pink, "You...an' him...in th' Common Room, no less!"

"We...what?!"

"Y'....y' know..."

Niki’s mouth drops open, "No!"

Dylan *turns to look at Arcadia, only for a moment, his eyes hard and cool, then his attentions go back to Niki*

"I had a nightmare. Nathan was still awake...we both slept in the common room, but it was just... sleeping."

Dylan looked at her, "Tha's it? Jus'...sleepin'? Not...?"

"No! Not..."

Dylan smiles a little, in spite of himself. Niki squeezed his hand, "That's why? You thought we had...?"

Dylan blushed again, "Er...well...th' rumour...an'...you've been avoidin' me....I jus' assumed...

Niki looked astounded, "You've been avoiding me!"

"I haven't!" replied Dylan.

"Well...it seemed to me like you were. I'm sorry."

Dylan shrugs, "Guess I've been avoidin' e' eryone."

Niki turns away from Nathan and Arcadia and buries her face in Dylan's chest, hugging him.

Dylan is startled by this, but holds her, smoothing her hair gently. Niki finally looks up from hugging Dylan, her face a little wet.

Dylan smiled at her a little, almost ruefully, "I hate it when y' cry. Makes me feel like there's sommat I ought t' be doin'."

Niki nodded, "I'm sorry. I just...listening to them...". Dylan nodded, " I know."

Niki turns and leans against Dylan, watching the other two. Niki said, very softly, "I think...it's time."

Dylan nodded mutely though Niki didn't see because she was facing away from Dylan. Dylan said softly, "Get th' feelin' we shouldn't be here?"

"Yeah, I do. Do you ever get the feeling that there's something you really, really want to do, but you don't dare do it?" Niki doesn't look away from the sobbing Arcadia.

Dylan takes her hand, "C'mon. Leave these two alone."

Niki paled slightly, "We would have to go past them...to get out."

Dylan looked somewhat perturbed, "Er....damn!"

"Let's sit down or something." Suggested Niki.

*************

"I... I don’t know what to do. I am what I am. I can't.. I tried... I am...us. I can't change, not even for you. I tried." Said Arcadia.

Nathan looked sad, "Then, Arcadia, I'm really, really sorry for you. All I can do is offer to be your friend."

"You... my friend?" asked Arcadia.

Nathan shrugged, "You'd have to put up with me loving Niki, cause I do. But we could still be friends."

Arcadia looks at Niki, " You want to be her... friend too?"

"You could ignore her." Suggested Nathan to But you'd have to leave her alone. No more tricks.

Arcadia looks at Niki. "It's up to you whether we're friends or something else. Your choice." Said Nathan firmly.

Arcadia turned to look at Nathan. "I'd Rather DIE!" she said and then stormed away.

Nathan glares after her, "Fine then. The other option was labelled "mortal enemies". Nathan shrugged and turned to the other two, "Your turn if you want to, Dylan."

Niki looked at Dylan, "Go. I need to talk to Nathan."

Dylan nodded, "I think I might have some plannin' t' do." He nipped off neatly without another word.

Niki goes over to Nathan, "We need to talk..".

"I'm being unfair to you." Niki began. Nathan shrugged. "You love me. And I don't think...I don't think I'm in love with you, anymore. And it's not fair and I feel horrible about it.." Niki looked a little teary.

Nathan glares at her, "Fine then." He turns to leave.

"Nathan...I don't want to lose you. But I feel like you have to know. I don't want to hurt you, but it would be a lie."

"And of course you couldn't have told me before I ripped Arcadia's heart out for you?!?!?" he could hardly believe what she was saying.

"I couldn't tell you in front of Dylan!"

"Oh, great! You're right, what would he have thought of you! You know what, Niki? You're just as bad as Arcadia, just that she's more honest about being a - being – like that!"

Niki stared at him, shaking a little, looks like she's fighting with herself. Her voice was shaky, "You wanted me to humiliate you in front of Dylan? I would slap you, but...I can't."

"You're breaking up with me, Niki, it doesn't matter when you do it, it's humiliating anyway."

"I'm not breaking up with you. If you think...want, I mean...I just thought you needed to know."

"Wait, you don't love me but you don't want to break up? That's crazy!"

"It's your decision." She said more evenly.

Nathan laughed coldly, "You're making it very easy for you, then."

"That's why I'm no Gryffindor. Nathan...I'm sorry, I really am. I know you're not going to listen now, but... I am sorry.

Nathan shrugged, " So am I. Well then. Was nice knowing you."

"At the risk of sounding horribly cliché... can't we still be friends?"

"If you ask me now, I'll tell you no, I'd rather eat my own eyes. What do you expect? After all this! You're demanding a little too much at a time." He looked downtrodden. I should have listened to Drake."

"What, that all women are lures of Satan?" she asked.

Nathan tries to suppress smile, but is unable to do so. "Well, maybe he was right." Offered Niki.

Nathan shrugged, "I just don't have luck with girls, it seems."

"I'm sorry, Nat. I really am."

"When exactly did you stop?" asked Nathan.

"I'm not sure."

"What did I do wrong?"

"I think it was a mistake from the beginning, on my part. The way it all started."

Nathan looked at her, he decided not to torture himself any further, "Whatever. Not like it matters now. Au revoir." He turns to leave.

"Au revoir." Said Niki quietly.

Nathan walks off, ignoring Arcadia and anyone else he meets, until he reaches Drake's door. Niki waits until he's out of sight to burst into tears.

*************

Niki was still crying, but not as much, when her aimless wanderings brought her to the Owlery. She had thought to go to dinner, but the knot in her stomach removed any thoughts of food.

Dylan, too, had a tendency to retreat to the Owlery when he wanted to think clearly, and it was there she found him, perched on the window, his lanky form draped over the edge.

Niki sniffed a little and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey. Y' all right?"

"No, not really." She climbed up onto the windowsill beside him. "But I will be."

He didn't quite know what to say to that, and resumed his absent examination of the area, though his mind seemed a million miles away.

"It was a mistake from the beginning. I tried to make it work, and I couldn't. I spent more time on it than I should have."

"Nathan? Hmmm...I s'ppose y' could look at it tha' way." His voice was carefully neutral.

"And now I've hurt him, and Dylan, and myself..." She paused. "I've been saying all of that out loud, haven't I?" Dylan nodded. "Oh, dear."

"It's all right. I don't reckon th' owls are much for gossip."

"I wouldn't have wanted to tell you...like that."

Dylan turned his gaze to her. "How would y' have wanted t' tell me, then?"

"I don't know. That's as good as any others. At least I wasn't speculating on the chances of finding banana syrup in the kitchens."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Banana syrup? Why would y' want tha'?"

They talked for a few minutes about the virtues of bananas. She paused for a minute. "Why are we talking about bananas?"

Finally she got to the "I'm sorry about...the rumours...all of it."

He shrugged a little, turning a little to face her, his back against the vertical edge of the window now. "It wasn't your fault."

She found it hard to articulate and flustered for a few minutes about what she wanted to say. "No, I mean...everything."

"Everything?" Dylan paused, his expression puzzled.

"You don't know what I mean...?"

"I'm a little lost, here."

"Nathan...all of the Nathan bits..."

"Oh, that." He shrugged a little, his expression carefully neutral, almost guardedly so.

"Because it was a stupid mistake. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "We all make mistakes."

"We do. And sometimes...sometimes, it's good to be able to do something about it."

He nodded. "True enough."

She smiled wanly.

"So now wha'?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't. What...d'you think?"

He sighed softly. "I don't know wha' I think, honestly. I'd like t' break Arcadia into a million pieces for messin' wi' you. An' yet, when I got tha' letter, I immediately suspected you of somethin'," Dylan confessed quietly.

"You had reason," Niki said softly. "I'm not exactly a good luck charm for you, am I?"

"No," he chuckled. "Not really."

"I'm...so sorry."

"Why? I'm not."

"Then it's better, I suppose. But I feel guilty, so guilty, for everything that I'm responsible for."

"Why? Wha' good does it do? E'erythin's o'er an' done...guilt jus' makes y' feel worse." Dylan paused, and he seemed morose for a moment.

"'Leastways, tha's how Mum always put it, an' I usually put a bit o' stock in wha' she says, e'en if'n I don't listen m'self."

"Because I should have said this before."

"So y' said it now. Doesn't make it any less true, does it?"

"No, it doesn't. But it would have made everything easier."

He shrugged again. "Maybe."

"I suppose I'm too late, though. Ah well."

Another shrug, and Dylan smiled. "You're not listenin' t' wha' I'm sayin'. You're forgiven. You've been forgiven for a while, had y' only asked."

"Too proud, I suppose." She smiled in spite of herself.

"Sommat like tha', I wager."

"I'm sorry."

Gently, he pressed a finger to her lips. "You've said it enough. An' you're forgiven."

Quietly, lightly, Niki kissed his fingertip. Then she tilted her head back a little, and frowned. "I shouldn't."

Dylan's face was practically a question mark. "Why?"

"It isn't fair...not yet, not really. I need time to think. Can you...give me time?"

"Oh," he said softly, and nodded. "Yes."

"Thank you," she said softly.

Dylan smiled, but it was easy to see some disappointment lingering in his eyes.

"But I do love you, you know that? I think I always have...and I know I always will."

The smile reached his eyes then, lighting them a soft blue, but he didn't speak--he wasn't sure if his voice would hold or not.

Niki kissed one of her own fingertips, then pressed it to his lips for a moment. Then, still smiling a little and crying a little, she got up and started to leave the Owlery.

"Niki," he called softly, turned on the window sill to follow her progression out of the Owlery with his eyes.

She paused and turned. "Yes?"

"I...." Dylan started, but then shook his head. Something in him had frozen, leaving him looking painfully earnest but silent for a moment.

"Yes...?" she prompted, gently.

"Diolch....Thank you," he said finally, as if those words alone took effort.

"For what?" she asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"For...for sayin' tha'."

Niki smiled a little. "It's just the truth."

"I know! I know, tha's wha' makes it special...an' 'tis..." He was fumbling for words now, the same way he always did when overwhelmed by something.

"It is," she agreed softly. "I know."

"You....I....er...." He sighed softly. "I don't know how t' say wha' is on m' mind."

"Try," she coaxed, smiling a little. "I promise not to laugh."

"This," he reflected ruefully, "is why people make fun o' me." With that, he fell silent, biting his lip in thought.

She took a few hesitant steps towards him, the romance of the scene only slightly spoilt by the owl pellets that littered the floor.

"I don't know how t' say it any other way...it doesn't make sense any other way," he confessed, his words flowing together quickly in his embarrassment "'Rwy'n dy garu di."

Niki smiled affectionately and turned a little pink, pleased. "Yes," she admitted, "I know."

Dylan blinked.

"Well...not known, really, but thought...or maybe it's hoped. But for saying that...thank you."

"Y' understand me?" he asked carefully.

"Only that bit of Welsh."

The smile that lit up his face was dazzling. And Niki smiled back. Somehow, Dylan mused, when she smiled at him, nothing else in the world seemed to matter. And he liked it that way.

Although she would rather have died than admit it, Niki had looked up the translation of 'I love you' in a particularly melancholy mood. To hear it spoken was different, quite amazingly so. And with the ring of truth added, it was enough to reduce her to jelly. She smiled at him, but at the thought of anything, just yet, she quailed.

"I'm....I'm not askin' for anythin'...save you t' figure out wha' y' want an' such. I reckon after bein' wi' Nathan, y' need time."

"I know what I want...I'm just not ready to have it yet."

He nodded a little. "I can deal wi' tha', I think."

"It won't be long."

"No?"

"Well...I don't think so. Although I suspect it will seem interminable. But the morning I don't wake up and think "Dylan" and get a knot of fear in my stomach...that's when I'll be ready."

His voice was gentle. "Why are y' scared?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't. But I am."

He frowned. "I'm sorry if'n I made you afraid o' me...o' anythin'."

"It's not you, Dylan, I promise."

"No?"

"No. I'm not frightened of you...just the whole concept of having someone so close."

Dylan nodded a little.

"But I just need the...the time."

"I understand."

"You're not angry?" Please don't be angry, please...

"No." He looked at her quizzically. "Should I be?"

"No! I was just worried."

He chuckled softly.

"Suppose I worry too much."

"Could be."

"I don't know...but I'm glad you aren't angry." Niki smiled.

He smiled in response. She smiled one last time, then turned towards the doorway again. This time, Dylan settled back into the window frame and watched her go.